Superpowers are Relative

September 30, 2005 at 5:55 PM | Posted in Health and wellness | Leave a comment
I haven’t had a cigarette since 1987. I have been healthy for over 2 1/2
years. I’m like that guy in "Unbreakable" except I have bad knees. So
knees are my Achilles tendon, if you will. And they are connected to the
knee, so if you take into account several centuries of rewrites and
translations, and the occasional poetic license, Achilles may have
actually had bad knees. And his insurance at that time did not cover
surgery. They used leeches, instead.
But my point is that I am
actually a super hero. And I can prove it. I have a super power. The
other night at work, I walked across the floor after they mopped and I
DIDNT fall! Plus, I didnt leave dirt tracks, but something more
unusual: the floor was actually cleaner where I had walked.
To be honest, these are not the super powers I would have picked, and
I’m not sure how well suited to crime fighting they are, but I will do
what I must, for I am Clean Traction Man!
fighting for truth, justice, and no-wax floors!
I mean, that and the health thing combined should put me in the club.
The Justice league is a union shop though, so I have had to apply at
other places:

the reasonably fair league
the league of ordinary gentlemen

the X- chromosome men (kind of oxymoronic, really)

the Altruistic four!

They have my resume.

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