Should Old Acquaintance–?

December 30, 2005 at 10:32 PM | Posted in Journal | 3 Comments
  That was interesting.
  I just got back from a pizza party for my grand-daughter. My son is the manager of a pizza place, and so we all went there. It is kind of a venture into the city for us. But they have great pizza. Pantera’s, have you heard of it? No longer in business, but independent owner/operators retain the name and the recipes. By the way, before Pizza Hut had their chicken wing pizza, my son had his. In fact, he thinks they stole it from him, but he has no real proof–just that he had been doing it way before they ever came out with one. Woof–! I ate too much.
  But we had gathered in a closed off set of booths and tables, kids and pre-teens at one end, adults at the other, trying to talk over the din. A woman walks up and begins talking with my wife. They hug and begin to converse. Oddly familiar looking. . .
  She glances at me, then gets up to leave. I get up to go ask my wife who it was. I know who it was, but I wasn’t sure, and the name hadn’t come to me yet. Just then she returns, with a man in tow. Literally, I mean. She guides him up the two steps, and he walks with an odd fraility about him. She comes to me and says, "Well, I don’t know. You might not remember me."
  And I did. Her name is Ruth, and the man is Perry, her husband. We had last seen them about nine years ago, shortly after our daughter’s birth. And not since then. We sat for too briefly and caught up before they had to go. They were a couple much like my wife and I, slightly older woman, younger man. Perry had been a vibant, healthy man before. What happened?
  Well, I’m not sure what the order was, but testicular cancer, kidney failure, virtual blindness. He is taking dialysis daily.  It was so good to see them, and yet unsettling. At first I had the usual, this could have been me syndrome, but mostly concern for both of them and how could I help? We live 50 miles away from them. What can I do?
  Perry used to be a photographer. We have a family portrait done by him.  We were beginning to be friends when we kinda fell away from church, and didn’t have much, if any contact with anyone after that.  Part of me wants to believe that this meeting was for a reason, and it would be good for my wife. She has few friends, and I would like for us to have an "excuse" to go back to church. And another part of me feels the real regret that Perry must feel, even though he keeps it inside, and was smiling and good-natured, and happy to see us.  The kind of regret where–you know what you wanted to be when you grow up, and this is not it.
  The words from Ruth’s lips stayed with me, on the long drive home, as I tried to separate the background noise with all the children from the several people vying for my attention, while I strained to hear what Perry, in a very soft-spoken manner, was trying to say—Ruth said, softly, matter-of-factly, and through closed teeth (And I will get to that in a minute, this isnt a cliffhanger or anything. One thing that I thought about later, was that Ruth still, after all the years and miles between them, valued my wife’s friendship, and didn’t put on airs or try to be politely distant, but said this thing that you would only say to someone close, someone whom you knew you could go to for support.)–
  –"It’s been very hard these last three years."


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  1. Thanks for stopping by my site today! I\’m sorry to hear about Ruth\’s husband Perry. Wow you have grand kids and everything! how cool is that. I just turned 36 and I\’m having a rough time with the birthday deal – yes, for some odd reason 24 hours before my birthday I was fine with my age! Nope no kids yet – clock \’s a tickin\’. Nah, actually I have so much fun with everyone else\’s kids that I don\’t really feel the clock thing -until I think of it randomly out of nowhere -bam! hahaI absolutely love your prayer listed above -ya mind if I use it? Had to giggle about CB\’s man, we had one in the car when I was growing up – it was great -we were always a nomadic family and I learned most of my language off of that thing. I went to kindergarten not having read the golden books, but certainly heard quite a few tales! They never could get me to stop using some of those words! Very popular with the nuns I\’ll tell ya! okay so I\’m gulliable too -although I don\’t know how to spell it! – did you seriously try to increase the Johnson?? I always wondered about that stuff -I get e-mails all the time but obviously no equipment available -I would be an odd male – doesn\’t it bother you to have all that equipment? I\’d want to be small – very small. OH my gosh, sorry cracking up now over the skin tag doc appointment – she didn\’t even give ya a hint that she was gonna do that! WOW. Cruel. Although she does have a point. okay gotta go – will be back to read more!! Happy New Years by the way. Never been to Missouri -what is it like, and alright spy, fess up – whatcha doin there? I guess I\’ll need to read more huh? Is it in here? Why does it matter -it doesn\’t but it tells me what you do with your days and what interests you have. Oh, and thanks for the other site address I like looking at photos – I\’m struggling myself with photoshop, -this kid the other day working at a magazine in the art department as an intern was unbelievable – I\’m shipping the rest of my discs to them – miss the darkroom very much. Don\’t post many photos, don\’t own them and my personal stuff is well actually a lot of it is from the darkroom and not scanned – one day -I\’ll put some up though thanks for asking. 🙂 -okay really leaving now -\’nite.

  2. Comment is longer than your blog! Sorry!

  3. Thanks for the posting on my blog site. Great to see someone else that has taken advantage of having a public forum to air their thoughts in. Hope you and your family have a great New Year. Perhaps we will crose again in cyberspace… I will continue to check your space to see what new and wonderful posts are here!Cheers!

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