Beer Buddy

January 10, 2006 at 11:18 PM | Posted in Riding In Cars With Pizza | 3 Comments
sorry, sorry, sorry!

Been busy, what with the new year, and I haven’t had time to post much, but some things, they are a-brewin.’

But let me tell you this little diddy:  My day job is at a bank, but I work two nights a week, plus every other Saturday, at this steak delivery restaurant a friend of mine owns.  I was my day job before I worked at the bank, so now I just work part time at the restaurant.  we have this driver working there named Curtis (I can give his name cause there is no privacy on the internet.)  and he is kind of a huge prick.  I get along with him because I get  along with everyone, but, yeah, he’s a penis.  He’s about 25, lives with parents, makes other poor decisions as well.  He had some legal problems recently, and he had us believing he was going to jail.  He may have even thought he was, and got out of it by the skin of his teeth, but he kept us in the dark.  He basically works full-time for us, even while he has picked up a half-dozen other part time jobs to solve his financial problems, and he always ends up getting pissed, throwing a tantrum, and walking out.
So this last Thursday, he is out on a delivery, and I get a call from the county sheriff.
"This is Bob Marley (you know, I never quite caught the name–this will have to do) from the county sheriff’s office.  Do you have a Curtis driving for you?"
Pause.  "——Uh—yes. . . "
"You need to send someone here to pick up this food in car.  He wont be delivering anymore tonight."
So, you know, I have been through just about everything.  I get their location, rush a driver out the door with minimal explanation, and take care if it.  We conjecture many possibilities.  I thought too late to ask the sheriff some pointed questions, like,"Did you get him for the drugs in his car, the alcohol on his breath, or the child porn on his computer?"  Too late.  Too, too late.
Curtis had bought some beer from the liquor store next to us before he left on the run, and put it in the walkin so he would have it when he got off.  We were concerned about Curtis, but more concerned about his beer.
If he was lucky, we thought, he would still be in overnight, probably over outstanding warrants or something like that.  Well, crap.  I’m going to have to do all the work that he was going to do tonight.  He owes me some beer for that.
One driver, Sean, thusly rationalized, "Well, Curtis has screwed me over before, several times, on closing or not coming in.  He owes me beer as well."
The other driver, Jody, simply thought, "I could go for a beer."
So we split his 2 4 packs.  Im kind of a light-weight drinker, and Jody weighs 102 pounds wet.  Sean took 4, and me and Jody split the other 4.  Bud dry, nasty.  We closed, and I popped one open while mopping.  (This is a pretty laid back organization.  This is not a franchise or anything like that.  Like I said, a friend of mine owns it, and he has about 10 employees.  We can do what we want.  Or I can.)  Jody drank one, opened another.
Curtis comes in.  We were shocked to see him.  He gave us no real details, as usual, but wanted his money and his beer.  He goes in the walk-in, comes out with the one left, and says,"What the Fuck!"
"Dude, we didn’t think you were coming back."
He pissed and moaned and left.  But at least he knows the kind of friends he has here.  The kind that will drink his beer when he gets arrested.  That is a special kind of friend.



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  1. special indeed…

  2. LMAO.. now, that was funny and I don\’t care who ya are!Kim

  3. pretty accurate my friend. but jodi weighs 106 wet, not 102. and shaun had a valid point, albeit truly un-altruistic. it\’s still funny as hell. as long as your not the dickhead in question, curtface.

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