Happy Birthday

February 3, 2006 at 7:12 PM | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
Okay, so, I had a great, funny idea, and I mail emailed this to my department and a few other people I work with. It was out all morning, and everyone thought it was funny. Then the guy in the cube next to me sends out the email below mine to the same people. I have to admit, he got me.

From: Bryan B
Sent: Thursday,
February 02, 2006 10:27 AM
To: @Document Control
Subject: New Holiday

I just talked to
Bill, and got this approved. He agreed that we wouldn’t be able to do this
every year, but since this is the first year I have worked here, to show his
appreciation for everything I’ve done, not only do I get off for my birthday,
but he is going to close the bank (corporate offices as well as branches) on my
birthday. He has friends at other financial institutions as well, and it
is highly likely that ALL banks will be closed to celebrate my birthday. I
just wanted to pass that along for you.
Oh, I almost forgot–it’s going to be
a paid day off as well. I don’t know how Bill managed that one with the
stockholders, but evidently they like me.
So just remember,
February 20th this year is Bryan’s Day, a paid holiday for

Bryan B
and then this went out a few hours later:
From: J
Sent: Thursday,
February 02, 2006 12:23 PM
To: @Document Control
Subject: RE: New Holiday

Dear Mr. Donius,
We received
an annonymous phone call notifying us that one of our patients may be in
your bank building. His name is Bryan Bushong.
Unfortunately, one of our security
officers was late to work this morning and Bryan was able to exit our
facility unnoticed. Under ordinary circumstances, we would come to Pulaski
and retrieve him immediately. However, due to the early hour of "escape", the
shift nurse had not made her rounds and Bryan did not receive his medication.
Please be
assured Mr. Donius, there is no cause for alarm. Bryan, while a large man,
is relatively harmless and just likes to play with electronic equipment.
Additionally, Bryan is delusional. By that I mean he likes to think of himself
as important and will concoct wild tales about his friends in powerful places.
His favorite story is that in honor of his birthday, February 20th is a federal
holiday. (As we all know, it’s President’s Day.)
At any rate,
we have determined that 2:30 pm might be the best time to remove Bryan. It will
be much easier to coax him out of the building because he knows that 3:00 is
enema time. He never misses a day and the smile on his face is absoutely
Mr. Donius,
please accept and extend to your staff at Pulaski our sincerest apologies for
any inconvenience and/or work stoppages may have been related to Bryan’s unexpected presence. Your patience and good humor are appreciated
and will be duly noted in the ensuing report to my superiors.
Thumbtight, M.D.
St. Louis Psychiatric Center

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