‘Merican Idoltry

February 26, 2006 at 10:14 AM | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments
My wife is a big fan of American Idol. I guess a lot of people are. Personally, I might like it, but I don’t want to get sucked in. Plus, when someone is bad, it’s embarrassing and hard to watch. But it is a pretty successful franchise, notwithstanding.
My wife is also a singer, or was, so she has an appreciation of it. She generally agrees with Simon. Simon is rude as hell, but he also knows his shit, and he is brutally honest, and has little or no patience for bullshit.
A lot like my wife, in fact.
Randy—I’m not sure what to make of Randy, Dog. Man, dude, man, Dog. I think someone staged an intervention, because he is throwing around the D-word a lot less. He is pretty enthusiastic, and a musician/producer, so he can recognize (in theory, at least) what is good and what is bad. Dog.
But Paula. Wow.
Originally I was embarrassed for her, because it’s obvious she’s little more than a cheerleader. A talented, beautiful, seductive. .. .cheerleader.. . . hmm .hmmmmm….
Oh, shit. Where was I?
Oh, Paula, yeah. But I got to thinking, she would probably be the best woman to be in bed with, ever. She is just so positive and supportive, she tries so hard to find the good in everything, she would just make you feel like a champ if you were having sex with her.
“Wow, that was really fast. You must have been excited, I can tell. I think it’s great that I turn you on that much. You might have set a record.”
“It sure does feel big.”
“You really made a lot of noise just then. The enthusiasm was incredible. It really made me feel like I should enjoy it too.”
“You’ve really come a long way. I like how you are using your unique look to your advantage. I really appreciate how when you do me from behind I don’t have to look at your face.”
“I think it’s great that you try so hard. I know you’ll get it eventually.”
I mean, aside from the fact that she is still hot after all these years, and a little more mature
(and a dancer, so flexible—am I drooling again?), she still retains some innocence, or goody-two-shoe-edness. She just makes you want to do nasty things to her.
Or is just me?
I would love to record some of what she says during American Idol and just put it on a cd, to play when you’re down, you know? Just to have a constant positive, nurturing voice…saying reassuring things…in a way…that…can be taken sexually…Hmmm
oh.. .hmmm.

Oh shit, where was I?



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  1. what do you mean you don\’t know where I live? I live in your computer, silly man! Where did you think I was? Timbuktu?
    Now, where were we? Oh yeah, the cabin in one of the Carolinas… groping and tugging and …  oh hell, gettin down and dirty. Good thing there\’s a really big shower in there. And did I forget to mention the fabulous maid who makes these fantastic meals that only need to be warmed up? It\’s all good
    hugs and tugs
    ps..  Paula Abdul??   Okay, we\’re all entitled to our fantasy people. Mine is the guy from The Transporter! Yum. Yum.

  2. Hi Bryan,
    I suppose it could work the other way too… every time a guy had some obnoxious female on top of him…he could play recordings of Simon doing his ….\’that was absoluuutely \’orrible….\’ lol
    So glad you stopped by to visit – crap that there wasn\’t any beer in the fridge though.. Our dog Jessie must have been sleeping on the courch as I see you did manage to take a nap – Oh well!! Hahaha.
    Still writing exceptional blogs I see! Take care, Catch you later, gator! x Eileen

  3. left out \’not\’…changes the sentence entirely….lol

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