I Believe. .. .

March 19, 2006 at 11:04 AM | Posted in Personal | 9 Comments
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Good Lord, I have to be more careful of what I say. My blog showed up as #2 on a beta Google Blog search for “flirt” because I mentioned the word in “Moving Right Along.”  It’s unfair, this powerful, majestic, huge weapon I wield.  I mean words.  Not what you all were thinking, pervs–Kim.
I received something the other day from an unusual source.  It made me think a bit.  Mostly it made me think of where it came from, and the timing of it, it must have been something I needed at that particular time.  Why do I believe that?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  Let me explain exactly what I do believe.
I believe in God.  I used to be much more spiritual.  It’s not God, it’s me–he’s always been there.  He’s got patience out of this world.   My belief system–my religion some might find it odd on the outside.  I did at first, just the idea! But when I realized the why and where-fors of everything, it came together for me.
It’s odd that I’m sitting here on a Sunday morning, not in church, talking about religion.  I used to be an atheist.  That’s because I was young and stupid. Listen, putz, if you’re an atheist, do think, then, than the human mind is the highest development in creation?   I’m sorry, but I have met too many morons, idiots, retards, and solid-minded fucks to believe that.   There is definitely a higher power than this. Especially yours.
Or because you believe science to be the end all and be all? I actually am a man of science, trapped in a technical field.  These same people now who think science has all the answers are the same ones 300 years ago who didn’t know there was air in between us that we breathe.  No matter what science discovers, there will always be more.
So yeah, I believe. And I believe I’ve witnessed a few miracles in my time as well.   These are mostly personal things that would have no meaning for you, and hey would take way to long to explain.  Besides, you would either believe me–or not– before I tell them, so what is the point?
Part of my belief system even covers the whole age of the earth in billions of years versus the biblical time table.  First of all, the Bible is not a history book. It is a spiritual book.   Much of it was paraphrased, retold, rewritten.  It was originally told to savages, so that they could achieve understanding.  They were told what they needed to gain this understanding.  It is my personal opinion that people who think every word of the Bible is the literal word of God and the absolute truth need professional psychiatric help or a swift kick in the ass.  But that’s my own opinion, and my church backs that up (except the psych part and the ass-kicking part–they’re more magnanimous).
But my own thing is this–millions of years ago, the dinosaurs, and all of that jazz?  Yeah it happened.  But it is not a part of our history.  God didn’t use a blank slate to create this world.  Like this: God runs the whole universe, and therefore he runs all the planets.  He has people on many planets, spread all over, all at different times and so for forth.  He wanted to make another planet for people, and he saw this one with the dinosaurs on it.  He said, “Yeah, you know, this has pretty much run its course.  Kinda tired of it now.”  He tosses a meteor at it to “clean it up,” and a few million years later it’s  ready for people.
Then he gets it ready, which takes however long it takes. When you’re explaining it to savages, you might as well say “magic” and “it took me six days, bitches.”
But I have a little something to back that up. I’m a little rusty on my ancient Hebrew, and other dead languages, but what I read when I was a junior bible scholar was that the original word that was translated into “created” in the bible was not the word that meant “out-of-thin-air like magic, bitches”, but a word more closely associated with “construction.” As in, He took available material and made a world.
Of course, that still leaves the whole mystery of the big bang, origin of God thing, up in the air, doesn’t it?  Yeah, well, life is full of mysteries.   You can’t figure out your checkbook, and you want to be handed the answers to how the universe works?  In essence, you’re still a child.  We are all still children.
Someone once asked me, “Well, why are we here?” My first impression was, well, why are you asking me?  But another question occurred to me, that may sound flippant at the outset, but is meant to bring you to really try to grasp what it is you want to know:
“Where else would we be?”
Many different religions have a slightly different take on this, but the core is the same.   We were SOMEWHERE before we were HERE.  We earned, or chose, to come here.  We are here to learn, and grow, and make choices, and experience life and joy and pain, and then we MOVE ON–to the next place. This place we are in is a very special place, an important place.  People (and forces) try to downplay this existence, but it is very important.  Once I was dealing with the unruly teen of a mother I was dating many years ago.  She said, “I didn’t ask to be born!”
I answered gently, “Yes, you did. You just don’t remember.”  These decisions we have made affect our eternity.
Speaking of which, for all of the strictness of my church–and I’m still not going to tell you which one, only because I am embarrassed that I am not a good example–for all of our strictness, we are way more forgiving that other Christian churches. We believe that only the very truly evil will go to Hell. Most people will get some measure of heavenly accord.   Even the slums of Heaven ain’t too shabby.  Godly, spiritual people, true believers, the favorites–they get Beverly hills.  The average schmuck like me, who tries but fails most of the time, and succumbs to weakness, but knows God’s love-gets to live outside the city limits near the railroad tracks–but it’s still better than hell.  People will be judged by what is in their hearts.  Yes, yes, only through Jesus–Jesus is the power through which it works.  But no God I love and believe in is going to send babies to hell.  Quite the opposite:  those are souls who were so good, they only needed to make a pass through here, collect a mortal body, and shove off.
I also don’t believe God wants believers to kill all the non-believers. And If I am wrong, and that is what God wants, I don’t think it’s a God I want to follow. It is my own personal opinion that there is something very wrong at the heart of the Muslim religion. Religion of peace?  Walk the talk first.  I’m from Missouri, so you have to show me.  But I also believe that it is related to the coming apocalypse.  And it is coming, people. Ready your hearts and minds.
Christ in a sidecar– I sound like a zealot.  God is by and large pretty forgiving, but there are a couple of things God doesn’t like, and I’m not talking about the commandments–although that is some of it.  Don’t deny him, ever.  If you know Him, or ever knew Him, you can turn your back on Him, people do.  He will wait for you to return.  Just don’t deny him.
It will piss Him off.


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  1. Wow, Bry, a whole \’nother side to you. I think, at the core, your beliefs are very similar to my own. I don\’t find that very often.
    Anyway, nice read. Kinda sorta thought provoking, even. And you know how I am about that.
    But, are you sure you didn\’t have another meaning, there at the beginning? LOL…
    hugs and tugs

  2. Ahhhh, interesting…where to start….(no, I don\’t usually leave novel length comments but I feel one bubbling up):
    1.  I\’m so glad you found my space…were you the google searcher looking for "shaved eyebrows" (it was an accident!  I swear!) or the less savory "2 dicks 1 chick" (from the name of my space, I\’m assuming, with a twist).
    2. Your beliefs seem online with mine…did you go to Catholic school, wear a cute little uniform, become a hindu for a few years, then become a science geek, too??
    3. The only difference I see is that I also believe in reincarnation. There\’s a higher power, sure, but He decides when we\’re ready to leave this earth.  Some people just take sooooooooo long to learn lessons.
    4.  The bible.  Sheesh.  I put more faith into Merriam Webster because you\’re exactly right: it\’s been paraphrased and retold.  My pet peeve is when people misinterpret it to back up their own judgemental power trips (homophobes, particularly, no offense if you are one.  Well, yeah, actually, you can be offended if you are and shame on you!)
    5. Extremists of any kind SCARE me!
    THERE!  Religion, homophobes, sexual deviants and reincarnation…that about covers the "nice to meet\’cha" comment 🙂

  3. 6. I love lists.  Some find them annoying, but really, what a better way to keep a train of thought???

  4. I liked reading this. It makes me think of what I believe in, waiver in thinking sometimes, come back to, and believe. I always find it interesting what makes me "feel" it when I do – it could be something bad, something good, or something completely ordinary-like – or sort of a synchroncity of sorts. It could also be a discussion such as yours. Disscusions are helpful. I wish I had more definate beliefs – mine are sort of cloudy like, sort of like trying to remember a dream sometimes (weird as that sounds) – there are some things that I feel the foundation of strongly that don\’t waiver, like – love, life, that we are okay when we die, compassion, that we are all connected in a way, that there are lessons that we can learn when paying attention, and that sometimes things happen -like God is letting us learn at our own pace and free-will. And in that case, yeah, I think God is really patient! and loving. Best to you and thanks. patti

  5. Just making rounds to all my fave spaces after a LONG and TIRING illness… Hoping you are faring better than I have been!!

  6. Hey there! Thanks for perusing my blog.  I\’m glad you enjoyed it even though we obviously do not agree.  I hope you note that I am willing to agree to disagree unlike some in the current administration!
    Love your stuff, have a great week!

  7. FINALLY!!  i like it here.  see you soon.  t

  8. i liked the coment you left somewhere…"By the way, if you stop by my blog, try not to be too offended.  I really mean well."
    you do a lot of thinking. Ü Ü Ü
    i think we as people, try to imagine a God that makes sense to us. but if there is a God, He is who he is. our concepts don\’t actually mold Him. does the annoying co-worker that thinks he knows you, actually influence who you are, or are you just who you are in spite of that silly guy\’s ideas about you?
    so if there is a God, i want to know who HE thinks He is, and whether or not He has any rules.
    have a good week Ü

  9. My God (no pun intended) what brand of Christianity is it you speak of, and what church do you belong to? Do you read from the Uranxia Book at the Sunday services?
    Oh yes and thank you dear boy for linking to my blog. I shall link to yours as well, as you\’re a bloody good writer with a tone I find entirely agreeable.

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