The Little Things

April 14, 2006 at 12:57 PM | Posted in Personal | 8 Comments
April 14
Good Friday
And I must say
It was a very Good day
I didnt even have
to use my A-K
  It’s the little things in life that make me happy.  I generally have low expectations.  I guess it’s because I believe in balance in the universe.  If I fix something in the house, something on a car will break.  I’m not paranoid; the universe is just like this.  God has a twisted sense of humor.  In fact, if someone started a church based on that divine truth, it would be a hot seller.
  But back to me.  There are big things I want.  I want to be a published author.  (working on that one.)  Want to be a published cartoonist.  (ditto.)  Want to be an astronaut.  (back burner on that one.)  Then there are things like, I want a pool table.  I want to build a deck onto the house.  More realistic, but still, seemingly big and out of reach right now.
  But some of the small things that give me pleasure, the things that make me personally fulfilled, or at least–as long as I have these few simple things, I don’t have to kill anyone?  I guess that is the right category.
  I like to read before I go to bed.  It’s practically an addiction, worse than the internet.  No matter what I have already been doing, how tired I am, how late it is, I need a few minutes, at least, and usually half an hour, with a book.  It’s a very personal thing.  Often it’s a book I’ve read before.  It’s easier than starting a new one, sometimes.  I don’t need that kind of stress late at night.
  I like to have a little snack before bed, too.  Nothing big,really, but something that goes good with milk.  A bagel, some cookies.  Pop tarts.  Buttered toast.  If I plan things right, I can have this while I’m reading, and I am much happier.
  I enjoy for to drive very much.  I got a lot of miles on me, many professional, most with a purpose, but a decent percentage of just–miles.  For pleasure.  When you’re young, you just go cruising, and listen to music.  I don’t get a lot of cruise time, but I make the driving I do cruise time.
  I really like my new little car, this Mazda MX-3 that I bought for 300 dollars.  Not since my Celica, fifteen years ago, have I had a car that was this fun.  It’s like a go cart.  It’s so tiny, sits low to the ground, and it just gets up and goes.  I think it has faster acceleration than my truck, which has a V-6 and an automatic.  Listening to music while I drive is a pleasure I am starting to get back.  I like it very much.  I like music very much, a wide variety of things.  That is a topic for another day.
  I enjoy this blog very much.  When I first got into it, it was all for me, just to write things down.  I never knew or expected to find people, find friends, and have them be a part of my life.  How strange is that?  To care so much about people whom you have never met?  In person, I mean.  Although with many of you, I feel like we have met.  It’s a . . . comfortable thing, and yet, something new and exciting always around the corner.
  Along with that, or because of it (the blog), I found that I enjoy writing.  I have wanted to be a writer, I knew I could do it, but it always felt like a chore, like homework.  Or milking cows, except without all of the awkward xenophiliac-related sexual tension.  Now, because of the daily practice this blog has given me, and the outlet as well, has allowed me to spread out to other things as well.  I am making my dream to be a writer come true.  I have about 50 stories, novels, that I want to write.  I have about half a dozen of them started.  Two or three of them I am actively working on, or at least thinking about.
  I mean, published author–that is a kettle of fish of another color entirely.  But just the fact that I am writing, I can call myself a writer.  You don’t have to be published to call yourself a writer.  This doesn’t apply to every profession.  You have to have rolled in order to be a bowler, for instance.  Patti (uphoto2) hasn’t helped, telling me I should get paid for what I write.  My head already won’t fit in my car unless the sunroof is open because it is so big, and then she makes it swell even more.
  Among other little things. .  .when I spend time with my children.  Individually.  When they are together, it is a neverending battleground of loudness.  Alone, each one of them is smart, creative, and interesting.  My daughter is developing into an artistic talent.  She draws, she sculpts, she creates crafts.  These things she makes have, over this last year, developed beyond her nine years.
  We constantly have a pile of paper and crap at the dining room table constantly, where she is working on various projects.
  I bonded with my son last summer when the rest of the family went on vacation.  He is a home-body, oddly enough for a 17 year old boy.  I was too, I recall.  I had few friends, but I hung out with them, but I also spent alot of time at home.  He is smart and creative in alot of ways too.  They both get really good grades, and, like Miranda, Mitchell makes and creates and designs lots and lots of things.  I get to see these things, they show me and it’s like show and tell, and I remember–
  I remember showing my dad stuff I made, when I was young, and the smile on his face.  Just beaming with pride and joy, over the simple pleasure of watching his child create.


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  1. i\’m so glad that you are writing! And so glad that you enjoy it so much because you are great at it and so glad that you have a sunroof!! I\’m glad you have a big head about it  – 🙂 when you are good at something or enjoy something a lot it is wonderful and should make you feel that way!! On top of the world and great!
    i\’m so glad for all that you wrote on comments – i\’m touched that you care and I\’m fantastically smiling that you had a marvelous day!! That is great!
    As far as some fo the questions -no the accident didn\’t leave any visible physical problems. I have trouble from the brain injury as far as cognition and fatigue – my IQ wasn\’t changed but I had to relearn things that were once automatic – things that we do everyday that we learned maybe as kids or that just came naturally. I was alone through most of it and that was hard – people were scared and I get that – it really freaked people out, plus I really didn\’t want people around me in the beginning – I was sea-sick to my stomach, light sensitive, sleeping almost all the time from medicine and from the energy my brain was going through shifting and relearning. Motion in my room or around me was adding to the sea-sick feeling and the idea of people moving stuff and confusing me by cleaning was hard too I think. I was a handful. I was scared. I was really scared. I couldn\’t communicate what I needed because I didn\’t know – I was hard to be around. It was hard for people to know what to do. I lost so much weight. I had been average wgt, before and when I turned literally into a waif – 85-90lbs. suddenly guys were asking me out that I had known since forever – I couldn\’t string a sentence together at that point and they were suddenly interested – that pissed me off in retrospect and even then…it was demeaning. I think in some ways when I finally could eat without feeling sea-sick, I overate because I was tired of those eyes on me. Crazy huh? I  just wanted to be liked for me, not because I was wearing size tiny. Now I\’m finding healthy eating just for myself but heaven help the guy that asks me out that knew me now and then later when I lose some (maybe that\’s not fair, I don\’t know and I\’m really not that angry about it anymore- it has been 7 years and I\’ve learned a lot since then)!  Mostly i\’ve learned about the small things that you speak of here – as well as the bigger goals that you speak of here – both are a blessing. I love the small things so much, my appreciation for life is endless. everyday there is something new that I think ah, I love that too!! (I too read before bed time! -it is great) Now that i\’m cooking I\’m surprised by the great smell of some of the stuff – the other day I was flabergasted and in love with the smell of red peppers when you first cut them open! It is amazing!! My life is rich with friends that I love and I also love my family whom I see a couple times a year but are close to my heart. I used to be a serious figure skater throughout childhood and then hurt my knee and switched to horses – I started skiing when I was able to walk – I had great balance and now I have below average balance – this is a problem physically – I don\’t care really what the chart says, it is a huge change for me and I fall a lot – the thing is is it is pretty funny really! I\’ve had some random falls and people I have met have actaully said – "don\’t I know you from somewhere? Oh wait did you do a face plant and wipe out on Main street the other day??" this actaully cracks me up – I laugh they laugh it is a strange way to meet. i\’ve had to get stitches on my chin and that is a funny story in and of itse;f but this here is getting long. i\’m not supposed to hit my head again – so I have to think about what activites are worth the risk and what kind of risk – for instance, one guy I met said that if he dated a girl he would want her to bike with him because he loved biking. I\’m pretty mediocre about biking – think that you can get there faster driving (though I like walking and sometimes jogging because I\’m in nature and can look around and notice things) – but biking not really interested and 1/3 the people in brain injury rehab were biking injuries – so that guy found someone else. ok, really when I think that it meant so much to him – he couldn\’t believe I wouldn\’t bike for him and I couldn\’t believe that it mattered so much.
    But most importantly and I can say this now with a great big grin – I have found happiness…in spite of sad times and hard times and not feeling great due to headaches and fatigue (part of having to try to concentrate on things to get it done) and having to sometimes not do things because I am tired – i\’m figuring it out. i\’m finding those little things of adventure and discovery to be miraculous and fun and worth everything. i\’m finding that playing with a kid is the biggest treat and gift and I love it! i\’m finding that being different, as far as so often saying the wrong things because really it comes out of my mouth before sifting through my brain, has created some really honest and loving friendships. Having someone close, like a boyfriend would be hard – I need time to re-engergize, to nap, to read that book, to chill, to be quiet – it can take two days sometimes – which makes my profession as a photographer perfect because I schedule it. But it is frustrating to guys that want to do something most of the time. One day I will find someone patient maybe who has a streak of indepedence and trustworthiness adn it will be beautiful, but if not, I love life so much that I am really happy. Everyone faces challenges, I\’ve learned, the things is what one does as far as learning from them, working with it, and committing to reaching towards their dreams and enjoyment anyway with an open heart and passion towards life. Feeling passionate about life is the best love affair I could ever wish for. I thank you for your kindness. 🙂 have a great day! -patti

  2. oops that was a novel – I\’m a blog hog!!! sorry. I didn\’t realize. I wrote it and pressed go – I didn\’t even reread it or scroll up – opps sorry so long! honest! -patti

  3. yup, I agree, you don\’t have to be published to be a writer. you\’re kinda good at it and you\’re gaining a crowd :D. I already promised to buy Jase\’s book. Can I promise to buy yours? when you first told me it seemed like it was just the way it should be and will be. Baaahh. Babbling again…
    see you 🙂

  4. and yet another side to Bryan! the soft sweet side, whoda thunk? Well, okay, it isn\’t such a surprise really.
    Personally, give me a day like today and I\’m a happy camper… sunshine and 80, woo hoo! I\’m diggin\’ it!
    Have a great Easter

  5. Happy horrid edd and cute bunny eating day ;D
    p.s. some people told me that my mails never reach them. i hopo yours did.

  6. You\’re gonna get a ticket if you don\’t take your lead foot off that peddle!!!

  7. It gave me the warm fuzzies when you spoke about your children.  I wonder what my father would\’ve written about our times together.  The past 10 years I made an effort to get to know every stitch of my father\’s being.  He had a lot to teach me.  I\’m glad I did and I miss him terribly.

  8. Bryan, I so understand what you meant about feeling so close to people you\’ve never actually met in person, but have gotten to know really well from sharing your thoughts with each other over time. 
    I\’ve been a member of an online support group for stepmoms for almost 4 years now.  There are some of us in the group who have been there from its beginning, and we not only vent about the trials and tribulations of stepparenting, but we also share our joyful moments, our laughter, and thoughts on numerous other subjects having nothing to do with the stepmom world.  Going to that site, and checking daily to see what my friends are dealing with, or just to share a silly joke, is something I look forward to every day.  I miss them when I\’m away for more than a few days.  They\’ve listened to my sorrows and frustrations, and understand what I\’m going thru like no one else in my life can. 
    Anyway, I loved your post.  Your words about the time you spend with your children touched my heart.   

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