War of the Worlds

August 24, 2006 at 1:15 PM | Posted in Notes on Society | 3 Comments
  The conference of astronomers this week decided, after much debate, that Pluto is no longer a planet.  I had known this for a long time; they should have just asked me.
  However, it is troublesome that they have created this new classification called "dwarf planets," under which Pluto, its companion Charon, and also 2003 UB313 and its companion, as well as Ceres.  The classification is not what is troublesome; it is the name.  In this age of enlightenment and political correctness, how can they call a classification of planet "dwarf"?  It is insulting to all little people, short people, diminuative people, pymgies, shrimps, tiny tots, wee folk, leprachauns, and fairies.  Not the fag fairies, but the tiny ones with wings, like Tinkerbell.
  If they wanted to name the new planet category "fags," or "blacks," or "Eskimos,"  you can bet somebody would have something to say about it.  Jesse Jackson would be there in a heartbeat.  Al Sharpton would be laying on the ground in the path of the next shuttle as they roll it out.
  Tiny little fucks deserve our respect, even if they are tiny, inconsequential, and generally in my way.  Hope I don’t step on one.
  Nonetheless, it is exciting news to hear.  At least there is some activity going on in the world of space, the final frontier.  Most people don’t know, don’t care, and don’t understand shit about space, our solar system, or our universe.  Simple questions like "What planet is closest to the Sun?" (Rhode Island) or "What is the largest planet?" (The Pacific Ocean), or "What celestial body is in orbit around our planet?" (Roseanne Barr).
  Simple questions like these that most people can’t answer show the shocking lack of education in this country.  Indicative of this is legislation that passes through state houses every so often that want to make pi equal to 3.  Kee-Rist!  Not fucking kidding, children.  Sorry, I feel kids should go to school all year around, maybe have a month off.  It’s getting to the point where, you spend the money, you buy them the books, and what do they do?  They eat the goddamn books.
  I have been in too many college classes where there were people you thought were smart enough to be in college, but really couldn’t find their ass if their head was shoved up inside it.
  Look, I am smart, but I am not trying to be elitist, I’m really not.  Even dumb people (which to me, is 99% of the planet) can take an interest in other things besides beer, fucking, work, and Jerry Motherfucking Springer.  Even if you don’t understand it, take an interest.  Some of it may seep into their thick wooden skull.  Watch the history channel.  Pick up a magazine that isnt about fashion or Hollywood.  Get a hobby that doesn’t involve felony possession of child porn.
  Someone commented on Kim’s blog:  This is not a dress rehearsal.  At that particular moment in time, even though I have heard it before, it clicked with me then.
  This is life.  This is your life.  Maybe you will, maybe you won’t, get a do-over.  By the time you find out, it may be too late.  Do it now!  Go and live your goddamn life!  Get off the fucking couch!  Throw the fucking TV out the window.  Dont watch!  Do!  BE!  LIVE!  Function!
  I want you all to get up, get up right now, get out of your chair, and go to the window, and open it, and yell, "I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!"
 
  Then just sit down and have a snack.  Y’all are making me nervous.
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  1. But Bryan, Sitting on my ass on my couch is my favorite way to stuff my face and feed this fetus growing inside of me. But I understand your point just so you don\’t think your lesson was wasted on me.  LOL

  2. YESSS! This is what I am howling at anyone who will listen! There is so much to do, see, be, and feel – why doesn\’t this sense of frenetic energy eat at EVERYONE?! I swear it is eating ME alive.;)t

  3. Well it\’ two floors up but I will give it a go.if the neighbors call the cops I may need bail money!!! I get where youare coming from though. Life is SHORT go for the GUSTO..(whoops Maybe that was a beer commerical )but you know what I mean! Got to expect some smackdowns but get right up and keep on going.Now are you suggesting that we just give up this internet stuff and go out in the world and BE?? WHAT I can\’t do that!! HAH…. I am goping to try though to be more REAL hah!
    Putting out the good vibes for you both……..  Caroldee


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