This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us

March 15, 2007 at 10:01 PM | Posted in Journal | 2 Comments
For the both of us….

  My granddaughter Jessica asked me about a month ago if I could go to her choir performance.  On a Thursday.  ~Sigh.~  Well, of course I don’t mind going.   But I have to get off work to go.  Fine.  This Monday she calls me, says Grandma (The Storm) isn’t going if that woman is going.  Detroit.
  Sounds like a win-win to me.  But I discuss it with Detroit, and she is willing to go but will sit this one out, be a good sport.  Be a better sport, obviously, than The Storm.  I never told my granddaughter either way, however.  I figured we would just go.  The Storm does not own this town, or even the middle school.
  Jessica, my granddaughter, calls me again today, am I going?  Well, yeah.  I took off work for it, and she asked me to go, so I’m going.  I may be childish, immature, and selfish (thus sayeth The Storm), but I know that this evening and the performance are not about me.  It’s about Jessica.  She says this time that Detroit can go (and how did she know that nickname?), she wants her to go, The Storm isn’t going.
  Okay, it’s starts to get a little complicated here, and I just drank some vodka and I’m probably going to have some more.
  Detroit says, well no, cause she only has ten minutes to get ready, which is enough time for me to change clothes twenty times but not enough time for a woman to get ready even once.  But she appreciates the offer.  I go.  I get there and I see my older son Mike, who is Jessica’s father, and his other kids.  Mike tells me that after I left, The Storm called my phone (which I left on the charger) and then called the home phone.  Detroit answered.  Here is the transcript, in Detroit’s words: 
03/15/07  7:50 pm
"Linda called the house and threatened me.  Told me to stay away from her daughter, grand daughter, whole family.  Told me if I went to Jessica’s recital and she saw me, she’d kick my ass.  I told her she was a friendly woman and too bad we can’t be friends.  Her reply:  ‘Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you.’  Then she went on to tell me what a terrible piece of shit Bryan is and how she’s glad that I ‘took him off her hands.’"
  So, this is stuff I have to tell my lawyer about, obviously.  When I talked to Mike after the recital, he told me after she got off the phone, Linda went ballistic, yelling and screaming at everyone, chasing the kids, trying to hit them.  He gathered them up and left for the recital.  He said sometimes he just feels like leaving.    I know how he feels.
  But I hope he doesn’t, because someone has to take care of her psychotic ass.

  My beloved, Detroit, is a real trooper.  I came home, and she was, first of all, still here, not flapping around in the parking lot on one wing, ready to go over there and fight.  And she wasn’t pacing the floor cursing, either.  Nothing had been thrown and broken.  Cops weren’t here.  She wrote everything down and was calm.  She felt more sorry for me, getting a taste of what I had lived with for 18 years.
  For the house, where my ex, my daughter, my son, my older son and four grand children live– when they call my cell, it comes up as "Family Farm."  I think it’s appropriate.  When She calls from her cell, obviously, it says, "The Storm." 
  I had a funny greeting on my cell before.  In my best Asian accent, I said, "Herro.  Blyan not here.  You reave massage, and he massage you right back.  you go away now."
  It was hilarious.  The Storm gets that a few times, and she says some crap about how I need to grow up.  So I changed it to "Leave a message.  Is that grown up enough for you?"
  Detroit didn’t like it because, well, obviously, I changed it because of her.  I shouldn’t let her get to me.  But I let the recording stay for over a month, forgetting to change it.  Just earlier this week, a Dorothy Parker quote flashed on the screen.  I forget which one it was, but it reminded me of how she used to answer the phone.  I changed my message to that, and I think it became oddly appropriate this week.  Maybe I’m psychic.  My new recording says:
  "What fresh Hell is this?"



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  1. ok I am of two minds right now.   I think if she was happy Detroit took you off her hands than wtf is she calling and threatening about?  However, I know when Paul has a new girlfriend and I find out she buys my son things the fear of being replaced in my kids eyes is what is overwhelmingly scary. I know in my subconscience mind they will always be mine and I will always be their mother but at the same time, my conscience mind I am always afraid of not being good enough.  So maybe that is a little bit of why she doesn\’t want Kim around the family? But as I have learned its about the kids and who they are safe around, and I need to trust paul with whomever he is with and my kids but I still don\’t have to like his girlfriends… I hope your lawyer can help cause I don\’t think the kids should be involved in a house like they if that\’s what she is doing to the kids, because they have nothing to do with it.

  2. PO BYLAN..I love that.. Detroit is one strong person.. I am so glad she can handle the storm. I am so glad your act went well and I would love to see it flourish beyond your wildest dreams. HOPE your DAD is better.. will pray for you all.. sounds like a pretty wild time there these days…  I still love that BLYAN. business so neat!  :  )  PS sorry I been a stranger…frickin MSN making me nuts!!

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