Marxist Doctrine

September 1, 2007 at 9:26 AM | Posted in Journal | Leave a comment
   This started being some whole big political thing.  It’s not what I intended, it just went there.  I’m going to try to say what I mean, and not get political.
  Because this isn’t political, it’s personal.
  And that might be what many people have a problem with.  Something happens to you, you’re down on your luck, and you think it’s political:  it’s the government’s fault.
  Well, trust me.  I’ve had good luck and bad under both parties.  It’s my problem, and no one else.  Nobody’s fault but mine . . .
  So these problems I have are not because of the Bush administration.  In fact, I think I have a good job (so far) because of him.  The mortgage industry could tank at any moment, but it could have tanked right after 9-11, and it didn’t.
  Detroit doesn’t like to discuss alot of private matters, but I’m an open book kind of guy.  We have problems.  Those problems are entirely financial.  Not enough cash coming in, too much going out.
  Every time we moved, the poor girl has had to quit her job and uproot herself.  Luckily, I guess, I kept my jobs.  And then she did all that work to my dad’s house–
  And we moved out.
  We moved into this house, after she did all the work fixing it up.  But she did get another job, in July.  That didn’t start until August.  But that’s cool.  Except she doesn’t get paid until the third week of September.  What the hell is that shit?
  BUt she’s working now, finally.  Not the greatest pay, but we don’t need much, honestly.  Do we?  Between both my jobs, I do okay.  But now I have to pay child support, that’s a new drain, and I’m paying the loan on this house but not getting the rent money for it, another drain.
  Eventually, when she starts getting paid–well, we won’t be out of the hole, exactly, but we will be able to see the top of the hole.
  I’ve done some very creative and not at completely ethical things to get by, but I’m trying to keep from going into foreclosure on my house (wouldn’t that be a bitch?  I mean, really, wouldn’t that be the biggest, most ignorant fucking thing?  To do all this work to the house, and to move again, just to lose it in foreclosure and have nowhere to go?  And I want to pay the child support, because I have to, I should, to take care of my kids, and if I didn’t I might go to jail. 
  –All this motivation–
  I’ve stopped just short of whoring myself out to pay my bills, but for the money to turn my cell phones back on–
  Let’s just say I can make you very happy.
  I’ve met and overcome a series of obstacles, and it seems like I’m getting near the end of the bullshit, when something else comes my way.  I’ve gone back and forth having car trouble.  Nigel is giving me trouble right now.  He should have been fixed last week, but this same one problem has been creating it’s own special subset of other problems.  It may be fixed tonight.
  Then again, it may not.
  The truck is acting up a bit, I think I know what the problem is, but I could be way off base there, too.
  And there’s still my son’s car, which has been sitting and not running for a few months after the first time I worked on it.  And he’s not speaking to me, which really motivates me to work on his car.  But I know I have to.  I need someone to help, who won’t charge me, and if this goddamn heat would ever break, it’d be easier to get someone to help me.
  I bought a lottery ticket the other week, Powerball.  When the jackpot was big.  Why not?  Of course I didn’t win.  But it reminds me of a joke:
  This guy, he wanted to win the lottery, really, really badly.  He prayed every day to God, to let him win the lottery.  Soon it was several times a day, which quickly turned to every hour, on the hour.  After a while he was in a constant state of prayer.
  Finally, God got sick of that shit and came to visit him.  "Alright!" He said.  "I’ll let you win the lottery.  Fuck, you are annoying."
  Another week or so went by, and the guy still hadn’t won the lottery, so he took to praying again.  Later that day, God came to visit him.
  "Listen putz, I said I would let you win the lottery.  But you have to meet me half way.  You have to buy a ticket."

  So, God didn’t say he would let me win the lottery, but he didn’t specifically say he wouldn’t.  So I’m going to take that as a yes and go ahead and play it.


Leave a Comment »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: