Leavin’ On A Jet PlaneSeptember 8, 2007 at 8:33 AM | Posted in Journal | 3 Comments
Moving, changing jobs, growing up, growing out–all of this changes the tiny universe that surrounds each one of us. In college, the year I spent with my roommate and his friends seemed like it would last forever. But nothing ever does. The permanency of change, this is what life is about.
When I got involved with Detroit (and here, this can mean the person or the city), it was because I fell in love with one person, Detroit. And so it was for her with me. But the people in her life became the people in my life, and vice versa. I realized that her ex was now a part of my life. Christ, what a price to pay.
But the same with her. My ex, my kids, my grandkids–they are all intertwined, however subtly with each other.
And so it was with me and her kids, her parents. When I got involved with her, I wasn’t even thinking about her kids, until it became an issue. I felt bad, I was blamed for "tearing the family apart."
Alex is a good kid. I like him, I like him alot. I’d like to be a father-figure for him, but I’m not going to push it. I’ll be here for him. The past month or so of him living here has been great. He and Detroit are very close. He was happy. We were happy. Until school started.
It wasn’t just him bitching about it because it was different–it really is a horrible school. I mean, it’s one of the main reasons, when i was married, that we moved away, because my son was going there. We weren’t really all too hip to the idea of him moving back, but education-wise, it’ll be better. We let him go…
If you love something, set it free?
He will come back to us, he will. For extended visits, and so forth. This is…………….
Hard. Children leaving the nest. Sooner than we wanted, younger than he should. But I am glad, very glad, that he lived with us, even for a short while. We got to know each other, we bonded a bit. I felt like I had one kid–besides my youngest daughter–among them all that actually liked me. One that I haven’t damaged my relationship with.
One that doesn’t make me feel like I’m the bad guy.
I’m gonna miss him too. No, I’m not crying. I– I have something in my eye. Go away.