Fiddler On The RoofNovember 20, 2007 at 10:54 PM | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
Growing up with Heathens as parents as I did, we didn’t have alot of traditions that really remember. Memorial Day and the 4th we BBQed, Labor Day was generally a reunion of some sort. Thanksgiving we ate. Christmas, we gave presents. That’s about it.
In my former life being married, we had some traditions, many of which I felt were forced upon me. In later years I came to embrace the idea of tradition, and so I wanted to detail in writing what they are, and perhaps enumerate some new ones. Let’s start with a list of the holidays:
New Year’s Day. The tradition I am most fond of on NYD is to sleep late, lay around in my underwear, and eat and watch a movie. No agenda for further purpose is allowed. I like it. Might have a drink or two as well.
Ground Hogs’ day–I’d like to light a small bonfire in remembrance of the car I had that burned to the ground.
Valentine’s Day. The traditional card and candy, perhaps flowers. Perhaps a small jewelry item. Dinner and sex. Good times.
My Birthday. About a week after Valentine’s day. Dinner and sex. I don’t need jewelry.
Steak and a Blow Job Day. I believe this says it all.
Easter. I. . .I don’t know what to do about Easter. I used to "celebrate" it the Catholic way, with my ex’s family: big get together and meal, egg hunt, and presents. I surely don’t get the concept of presents on Easter. Do I need a new tradition for Easter?
Kim’s Birthday. I believe this calls for Dinner and sex. Maybe a present, even. I’ll get her something as well.
Memorial Day. I sure do want to BBQ and drink beer. Would like to do it with people.
4th of July. My son’s birthday. Call him, maybe see him. BBQ and beer.
July 23rd. Our real Anniversary. I’d say dinner and sex.
Labor day weekend. Usually some kind of get together with the family.
Halloween. Halloween starts the first weekend in October, with the putting up of decorations. Need to watch scary movies also. Buy candy. Dress up. Give out candy.
Thanksgiving. Well, the parade, first and foremost. I take some kids downtown to the parade. Then we cook, and eat, and drink. The weekend for putting up Christmas decorations. Also: need to watch some Christmas movies. At noon on Thanksgiving, K-SHE plays Arlo Guthrie’s "Alice’s Restaurant."
I also like to try to make a new recipe on Thanksgiving. In theory not a good time to experiment, but there’s usually plenty of food, so it’s not a bad idea.
Christmas. The Christmas season begins on Thanksgiving. Putting up the decorations, playing Christmas music. Like to attend at least one Christmas party of SOME kind. Geez. Come on. The new tradition involves "when do I get the kids?" See if Mitchell will stop by. Christmas eve or Christmas day–need to go to Carl’s. Coordinating this is part of the tradition.
Shopping is part of the tradition as well, and so is eating and drinking. The 100 proof southern comfort is something that I have to have, I guess. Dad liked it.
New Years’ Eve. I’d like to go somewhere, do something, somewhere. with someone. Even if WE have one? A party?
I contemplated this, as I am often likely to do. I have a friend, or two. Bunny may or may not have a party, which I may or may not be invited to. The Dude’s brother may also have one. I don’t want the college type party…..I’d like just a get-together: talk, drink, eat. Sit down. Very few people flashing their tits. No incredibly loud and annoying music. No one screaming, "PAAART-EEE! Woohoo!" Is that too much to ask?
The Dude’s brother and his friends–the neighborhood group–seem very nice. Too nice, sometimes. Random group sex is likely to break out at any given moment, and I’m trying to preserve Detroit’s innocence.
My cousin Joe, or even Uncle Joe–they might have a suarez–that’s always a nice possibility. Who else do I know?
I think what I want–I want a circle of friends. I have two. With me, it’s more of an awkward threesome than an actual circle. I’d like to have a group of friends. I’m a friendly mother fucker–why don’t I have more friends? Is my breath that bad?
On the other hand–