Tuesday Is A Random Day Of The Week

February 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM | Posted in Riding In Cars With Pizza | Leave a comment
I have several things to post.  I combined a few to make a conglomerate; nevertheless you may want to scroll all the way down.
Random Thoughts:

If an atheist is superstitious, does that make him a hypocrite?

People write notes on themselves to remind them of things.  What is a tattoo supposed to remind them of?
Do they get a tramp stamp to remind them that they’re a whore?  In case they forget?

The only reason I would name a star after someone would be to piss them off.


There’s no I in team, but there is one in BITCH.

At the bank today I just saw this customer name:
Jackiesha Davis

Can you just–can you just give me a break, already?  What kind of ridiculous crap is that?  How can you just make up names out of thin air, and then give them to your kids–with a straight face?  "I wanted my daughter to have a Unique name, so that’s what I named her.  Unique.  Except I spelled it how it sounds: Uneekqua."
My eyeballs actually hurt, they’ve been rolling so much.

I’m going to give up sanity for Lent

Super Duper Tewsday

Rain and Traffic.  I was in the middle–the exact, geographic middle–of a giant unlubricated cluster fuck.  I left for work at 430–I probably should have left at 415.  Actually, I probably should have left at 3.  The highway is backed up, so I get off one exit early.  And I sit there for half an hour before we get to the light.  It was raining, my windows were fogged up, and the defroster was only burning me up, not clearing them off.  We inch along…..
The story bores me.  Well, it bored me when it happened to me.  Long, uninteresting story edited for time and content (and formatted to fit your screen), it took me 2 hours and 15 minutes to get to Domino’s.  This was not a long drive.  It should have taken a little over half an hour.
I get to work finally, and the rush, she is over.  I am the closing driver, and it is about time for the rush drivers to leave.  So there I am.  From 7 pm to midnight, I took 3 runs.  I made 14 bucks.  I had time to clean the entire store, and time to think.
Thinking is . . . .over-rated.  I’d rather make money.
One of my three runs was to a college dorm:  one doofus-looking retard and two hot chicks.  I really envy him, because even if he isn’t banging them, he has some great masturbation material.  Nowadays, my fantasies mostly involve whether or not I can get a hard on…and once I do, I fantasize that I can see it past my belly

Just when I thought only the new and interesting and exciting stuff happens at Domino’s,
Scooters comes through for me.
This dude comes in to order a burger.  As he is paying, he says–oh yeah, direct quote:  "How long does it take to prepare a situation like that?"
This was my answer, verbatem:  "About 10 minutes.  although, rarely-but occasionally–rarely do I refer to them as ‘situations’.  In the event this becomes a situation, we may have to evacuate."
The fucker must work in marketing.


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