In The Mean Time…

April 3, 2008 at 8:24 PM | Posted in Notes on Society | 1 Comment
  Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.
  Give a man a keyboard, and he’ll blog about mercury poisoning for the rest of his life.

  I swear to God…I’m going to have to start a new blog, a political one.  The shit going on that I see in the news and with the world makes my ears bleed and my eyes burn.  And it’s not even…
  Well, what is it?  Here it is, my manifesto, the things that piss me off:
  Terrorist and their apologists.
  The left wing liberal bleeding heart commie pinko fag junkie socialists.
  The media.
  The sheeple that believe the media.  It’s called propaganda, and not only are you falling for it, you’re perpetuating it.
  The rest of the world that blames the US for their problems.
  Politicians and lobbyist in this country–on both sides.
  All the illegal immigrants that belong to these specific groups:  LaRasa, the Reconquistas, the drug dealers and murders and and smugglers, the ones who think they own this country or that this country owes them something.  Fuck off. 
  All the bloggers out there who think:
    A.  Their opinion matters.  Everyone thinks they’re important, everyone thinks what they have to say is relevant.  But they’re not, and it isn’t.
    2.  They’re right.
    d.  Anyone gives a shit.
    [And I’ll add this:  They also think they are talented writers in some fashion, waiting to be discovered by the New York Times or MSNBC and get their own column and then a TV show and be shown in split screen with George Stephanopolous trading witty banter.  Dipshits.  Just shut the fuck up and  continue to live in your parent’s basement masturbating between your ridiculous political rants and your job at the convenience store.]
  The United Nations.
  The ACLU.
  Is there more?
  Oh, yes, there’s more–there is so much more.  You want my opinion?  No?  Well, you’re still getting it.  Let me explain why, after going off on political bloggers, why I’m better than they are.

Opinions are like assholes.

1  Everybody has one.

And most people would stop there.  But there is more data to correlate here, and I am just the person to do it.  Other reasons why opinions are like assholes:

2  Everyone else’s stinks.
3  Some people will defend theirs to the death, no matter how awful it is.
4  Personally, I like mine best.
5  If you open one up and examine it, lots of shit will come out.
6  People don’t like to change theirs.
7  Some people–honestly–need theirs ripped open by a big dick.  And that would be me.
8  If you’re scared that yours will get violated, you clench it tight.
9  A few (a very few) people feel theirs is routinely investigated by aliens.
10 If you stick your nose into somebody else’s, you almost always regret it.
11 You should resist the temptation to display yours in public.
12 I’ll pay attention to one that a hot chick has. . .because I’m shallow.
13 People get really indignant if you mess with theirs, even though secretly they like the attention.

There are probably other reasons as well.  About as many as there are assholes.

1 Comment »

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  1. hey as i always say…
    everyone is entitles to my opinion…
    ha ha ha…
    *~* :o) a smile is a universal welcome… :o) *~*

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