Nerf Day

April 22, 2008 at 7:17 PM | Posted in Notes on Society | Leave a comment
  I’m not making this up.
  I was driving to work this morning on this beautiful Spring day–Earth Day, I believe–enjoying the splendor of Mother Nature and driving my tiny little fuel efficient car and trying to think of what I could recycle besides old jokes.
  Suddenly, a large vehicle pulls up to one side, then slowly accelerates past me.  I notice the bumper sticker as is pulls away:  "Earth First."
  Well, I was offended.  What hypocrites.  Here they are, driving a Hummer–an H2, for crying out loud–with a bumper sticker that says Earth First.  I mean, I don’t know for sure, but I imagine that thing gets about 10 mpg.  Maybe less.  Are they trying to be ironic?
  But I care about the environment, and I care about the planet.  I was going to catch up to them and give them a piece of my mind.  I sped up, and the wind effect from following the H2 whipped my little car all over the road.  Ha!  I thought.  Do you think that thing will provide shade for you when global warming kills us all?
  As I got closer, I pulled down my bio-friendly hemp sunglasses and tried to get a closer look.  But I didn’t see the Toyota Prius electric car stalled on the highway in front of me.
  The H2 honked. and I looked up in time to swerve out of the way, and I rolled into the ditch to avoid flipping over.  The H2 driver, a good Samaratan, pulled over to help.  He had a winch, and we hooked up my car and pulled it out, and then he was on his way.  But I managed to get a closer look at his bumper sticker.  The top line said, "Earth First."
  Underneath that, in smaller print:  "We’ll strip mine the other planets later."

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