Office Space

July 17, 2008 at 3:45 PM | Posted in Riding In Cars With Pizza | Leave a comment
  I had a thing yesterday with two copiers, a fax machine, and two scanners, all having problems.  I deal with all of that now on my floor.  I am…."peripheral support liason."  Whatever.  I have about 35 printers, 6 copy machines, a dozen scanners, and a half-dozen odd faxes that I run support for.  I don’t fix them myself, but I call our support vendor, explain things, sign the papers.  And simple things I can fix.  I also order paper, toner, and ink.  So I had this funny story yesterday and–

  I told Detroit this story last night and it helped her go to sleep.  So…is this worth telling?

  After getting part of the way through it, I decide that it isn’t.  Select all and delete.  But here are some highlights:  The girls can’t live without the copier, which sounds like an unhealthy relationship to me.  I explain to the girls that the copier is like an abusive boyfriend.  He lures you in with flowers and candy and sweetness, and then when you rely on it, it beats the crap out of you.  After you bail it out, it’s nice for a while, but you get caught in a vicious cycle.  You’re an enabler.  You need to join a 12-step program. 
  But the tech explained what we have to do to make it work right.  Certain things have to be done a certain way, and if you do that, it will give you no problems.  You just have to treat it right. This morning a group of women are standing around the copier, wondering what to do. 
  I explain.  "Okay, have you ever had a high-maintenance girlfriend?"  Blank stares.  "This copier requires that she be treated a certain way.  If you don’t do it, she’ll go ballistic on you.  As long as your treat her like a princess, you can get her to do anything you want."  I pause, for dramatic effect.  "She will have a *desire* to please you.  And then you can brag to everyone else about your hot copier."
  I find analogies work best when explaining things to people.


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