Overheard In My Office

May 19, 2009 at 8:58 PM | Posted in Journal | Leave a comment
I work in a funny place.  Every day I marvel that I’m not arrested.

When you’re middle-aged, you can go from "I wonder if I have to go" to  "I’m glad I have to go" to "uh-oh, will I make it in time?" in the 20 second walk to the bathroom.

IS THIS FRIDAY?  Really?  It seems like last Thursday.  Of course, last Thursday felt like next Wednesday.  It’s been an odd month.

I am a one-man morale committee. But–I can bring you up, or I can bring you down.  It’s a two-way street.

A zaftig MILF was heating up her lunch in the lunchroom microwave, and talking to another co-worker: We’re going to Florida in about three weeks, I need to fit in my bikini.
Co-worker, noticing her large pasta dish:  That won’t get you ready for a bikini.
Zaftig:  I bought a size 20, so I have to eat up.

I need you to take this packet across the street to the title company.
But…I’m naked.
No you’re not
Underneath these clothes I am.
You know, that excuse doesn’t always work.
Does it work now?

Sometimes when you type, words get mixed around.  For instance the most common one is "teh" instead of "the."  I realize now what it is:  I’m not dyslexic, but my fingers are.

I eat the Banquet frozen dinners for lunch.
You know, you are what you eat.
Well, I am cheap and easy.  And not good for you.

As I’m leaving today I see one of our season help, a young Asian-American kid wearing a belt that says, "In Japan I’m a Legend."

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