Road To Nowhere

August 25, 2009 at 1:43 AM | Posted in Riding In Cars With Pizza | Leave a comment
  In an ironic kind of way.

  PROOF OF INSURANCE
  SAFETY INSPECTION
  EMISSIONS INSPECTION
  PAID PERSONAL PROPERTY TAX RECEIPT
  REGISTRATION
and last but not least,
  THE TITLE.

  I had all of these, I thought.  Not the title, thought.  Well, as it turns out, I *did* have the title, I just didn’t talk to the right person.  Had I come home and immediately went to Detroit and cried on her shoulder, she could have slapped the piss out of me and handed me the title because she knew where it was.  I could have gone back that day–
  But I didn’t.  So today, after work, I will try again.  I have everything.  In addition to the above, I also have a check from the bank made out to the DMV.  Plus, now they take debit cards, which is new.  Of course they also charge for that free service.
  So there are two things that could go wrong, maybe three:  I have the paid personal property tax receipt.  However, I may need the previous year’s also, which doesn’t make sense–If I paid this year, last year is paid.  Otherwise, I couldn’t pay this year until I pay last year, right?  This is what we call logic in the real world, but since I am dealing with bureaucracy, I have no idea what it is called.
  The solution to that is simple:  For an extra two Obama-bucks, I can get it faxed from the Central office.  Problem solved.  Next problem:  If your even a little late paying all of your shit to get your license plates, besides a penalty another little curve they throw you is that they won’t take a check.
  Puzzle out that logic with me, would you:
  If I can’t afford to pay it in a timely fashion, should I just write a check that I know will bounce?  Or wait, and then have to pay cash, and pay a penalty–not to mention risk getting a ticket for not having proper plates?  If I’m late, odds are it’s because I’m being honest about having (or not having)  the fucking money in the first goddamn place.
  But I did ax them would they take a bank check, a check written out by the bank?  Sure–that or a money order.  Well, the people who made my loan want to write a check, not give me a blank money order that I might use for something other than for the reason that I fought so goddamn hard to get cash out for in the first fucking place.  Fucking shit.  Darn it.  Okay.
  So they said they would take a bank check.  However, the check is made out to the DMV–Division of Motor Vehicles-and everyone in the state who has ever had to get license plates *KNOWS* that you make out the fucking check to the fucking Department of Goddamn Revenue.
  And the check is only made out for a grand, and the total is going to be more than a grand–and it might be as much as over a hundred dollars more.  But I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it.
  Here’s some Alanis Morrissette for ya:  After I get the emissions inspection, I was driving home the other night and the check engine light comes on.  Bummer.  I guess I need a tune up or something.  But the point is, with that light on, it would never pass an emissions inspection.  So…things kinda went my way?  We’ll just see, after I try again to get my plates.

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