I’m Not Wrong

September 24, 2009 at 1:58 AM | Posted in Political | Leave a comment
  But you probably are, if you disagree with me.

  Imagine you live in a nice neighborhood–you think.  But there are some problems, so you want to start a neighborhood watch.  No one else wants to host the party, so you have it.  And it’s not a party, you keep telling them, but the guy across the street shows up with a keg and a young couple from down the block order a bunch of pizzas and pay for it with your credit card that they stole from you.
  During the meeting–which gets a little rowdy and out of control–two convicted felons that don’t even live in your neighborhood volunteer to house-sit for people when they go on vacation.  Everyone nods about what a great idea that is.  This creepy pedophile says that he’ll handle the after-school safe house program and everyone agrees.  The neighborhood retarded kid is charged with keeping the minutes.  Your neighbor’s cousin who lives in the basement that had served time for embezzling is unanimously elected treasurer.
  The guy who lives behind you complains that your fence is too high because he can’t check out your wife in the pool.  Someone else agrees and says your house looks too nice, it makes the rest of the neighborhood look bad.  What are you trying to do, lower everyone’s property values?
  You’ve already offered to help some neighbors–you’ve lent them a lawnmower and they broke it, and you’ve loaned out a ladder and never seen it again.  Another neighbor–does he even live here?–cut down the tree in your front yard for firewood.  You just got subpoenaed because he is suing you because his house burned down.
  And even though there is no water shortage in this state, everyone votes to keep you from watering your lawn because no one else does either.  The lady next door takes this opportunity to sell cookies for her daughter’s school fundraiser.  Everyone claims they can’t afford to buy any, but they get all in your face when you say you don’t want any either.  "You can afford it!  You need to buy some!"
  You have some mail that belongs to someone else, so you try to return it.  They say, “No, that’s my bill for drug rehab.  You can pay that, right?”  Everyone agrees you should, and they all want to forward their personal property tax bills to you.
  Two neighbors from down the street start to fight over whose tattoo is the most accurate representation of living for the moment, and it turns into a brawl in your house that spills into the yard.  Prized possessions are broken or stolen, and your lawn turns into a muddy pit with all your flowers and landscaping destroyed. 
  The cops come.  When questioned about who started it, everyone points at you.  You want to put up your house up for sale and move, but you KNOW what the open houses will be like. 

This is exactly what the UN is like.

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