Speaking Of Electricity

October 7, 2009 at 10:25 PM | Posted in Journal | Leave a comment
   A quick little story.

  Back in the early nineties, when it seems like everything was happening to me, I lived in this old house in Jennings, built circa 1920.  High ceilings, great craftsmanship, awesome windows.  Shitty neighborhood.  To be fair, in 1920 it was a classy place.
  In addition to the shitty neighborhood, the plumbing was shitty as well.  The water–geez, I had nightmares about the plumbing.  The bathroom was upstairs, like on All In The Family.  Periodically my failed attempts at plumbing made themselves known by dripping on me while I sat in the living room.  The drainage system was fucked as well, and occasionally the sewer would back up into the basement.  After one such nightmare, we were all in the basement trying to clean it up, and see what was salvageable. 
  We had only moved in recently…so this was actually 1988, then.  We had a young Vietnamese dude living with us named Sonny.  Since we had only recently moved in, there was still some of my ex’s brother’s stuff in the basement that we eventually had to throw out.  One of the things down there was one of those old washing machines, the kind with, like a wringer on top, I guess?  But it was electric, because there was a motor to agitate the clothes.  Seems pretty high tech, or I’m just old school because I do all of my agitating manually now.
  We had no idea if it worked, but Sonny wanted to try it.  He reached down into the 4 inches of water he was standing in and found the ancient, brittle, frayed cord.  He saw an outlet.  He reached to plug it in.
  "SONNY DON’T!"  He stopped.  "Holy shit, man–you’re standing in water with a wet cord in your hand."
  "So?"  Like a caller to Mr Obvious, he didn’t see the connection.
  "So don’t plug it in, dude.  I don’t want to see you shake and pee."
  He shrugged.  Sonny had kind of a deathwish.  "I don’t see the big deal."
  "Yeah, well I’m standing in the water too.  Let me get on the steps first if you really want to die."
  "Oh."  He dropped the cord.
  We never did find out if it worked.  But at least I lived to tell the tale. 

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