October 16, 2009 at 4:59 PM | Posted in Journal | Leave a comment
   Call this one October 10th
  I had lots of plans for this last weekend.  It was–well, let’s face it, an exciting time for me.  A three-day weekend in which I would get all three days off.  For the entire week before I made plans and drawrings and such; by the time Friday evening rolled around I was properly stoked.
  Let’s see, what did I do Friday night?
  Wow, it’s been a while.  I don’t remember when I did what (or even why, really–)
  The previous weekend we removed the fireplace.  That was quite a bitch.  Heavy, awkward, and unreasonably attached to the house like a desperate co-dependent.  Lots of sheet metal with sharp edges, and it had sharp jagged edges after I took to it with a pair of tin snips.  I was Johnny Depp, in a crossover between Edward Scissorhands and that musical thing about the barber.  No, I’m not looking up the name because a shit I giveth not.
  All of the fireplace came out and was sitting in my garage in pieces.  All of it except for these two pieces of slate or granite or some other really heavy rock.  Four pieces of it made the base, or mantle or whatever the hell it is.  Two of them came out.  Christ, they were heavy.  One piece was five feet long, sixteen inches wide, and about an inch thick.  It easily weighed over two hundred pounds.  Another piece was only two feet long or so, so it was a little lighter.  The remaining two pieces matched the smaller one, but the bordered the fireplace and were attached to the wall with a serious dose of adhesive.  How, oh how do we get them off the wall.
  Detroit said that in a worst-case scenario, we would cut them off the wall and replace the drywall.
  I said, no, in a worst case scenario the earth plunges into the sun and we all die in a blazing inferno.
  But yeah, for our immediate purposes, that would be bad.  I tried to McGyver it by nailing a piece of plywood to the wall to give be a leverage base and then using a pry bar on it, and I thought it was working…
  Until the drywall ripped off the wall with the piece of slate.  "Well, it’s off," I said.
  Based on past experience I knew the next piece would do the same, so I took the utility knife and cut the drywall around the slate.  This made a fairly neater hole in the wall. 
  Detroit and I know our strengths; we work well together.  She is great at the mudding and taping event.  I can’t do that so much, but I can carelessly measure and sloppily cut a piece of drywall and then force it in the hole like a date gone horribly wrong.  I cut the first whole fairly big, making it go stud-to-stud and squaring it out.  The next hole was quite luckily lined up pretty much with the studs, so I just squared it off a bit.  I cut drywall, screwed it up, and let her have at it.
  I think that was Saturday afternoon, or Friday night, or a little of both.  Saturday morning I know we trekked out to the Habitat for Humanity Re-store, the warehouse where they sell all the used crap ripped out houses they rehab.  There was some crusty shit in there.  But there was also some cool stuff, and some new stuff.  One of the workers told me that builders and manufacturers make corporate donations on a regular basis.
  We found a shower enclosure, which is something we have wanted for the basement.  It took a while to get someone to give me a price on it, but it was 150.  I countered, "One-twenty?"
  He said, "I have to make it 150.  Brand new is over three bills."  Normally in a hardware store you can’t play Let’s-Make-A-Deal, but the whole yard sale atmosphere just brought it out of me.  I actually didn’t want to pay more than a hundred, but I was willing to go a little over.  Hmmm.  I needed to think about it.  That’s what I told him, anyway; I was fairly certain at that point that I had already decided to buy it anyway.
  We continued to look around.  We found our way to doors, and Detroit explained what she wanted in an exterior door.  We want to put a door in the kitchen to the patio, because currently we have to from the kitchen to the landing through the garage and then to the patio.  It’s not that big of a deal for us but it’s a pain in the ass for the dog, which makes it a pain for us.  We actually leave the back door to the garage open all the time so that we only have to open one door to let Mac out.
  She wants a back door that is all glass, or mostly all glass, to let light in, and make the space seem bigger.  "Like this one?"
  She looked.  "Yeah, like this one."  She was immediately interested.  We couldn’t decide if we wanted it.  I saw the price was 125 bucks.  Another stack of them had prices written on them of 250 to 375.  I said, "That has to be the original store price, right?"
  Finally, I talk to a guy.  I said, I want the shower enclosure, and this door, and this ceiling fan–make me a deal.  He looked at it all and said he’d throw the ceiling fan in for free.  Okay.  Thirty five bucks for this pretty nice fan, new, wrapped, with a control box.  I wanted to put it in the garage.
  So, for 275 bones, we got a shower enclosure, a prehung exterior door, and a ceiling fan.  Retail price of this showcase, probably over 800 dollars.  Easily over 6, I know that.  In fact, the guy told me, while we were loading, that the door was marked wrong.  All the rest of them said 250.  He thinks a customer marked it lower and moved it, hoping to make off with a deal.  *Bummer,* I thought.  *For him.*
  I was supposed to go to my friend the Dude’s house Saturday evening.  And I did, except–
  I can’t call out on my cell phone because I’m late on the payment, so it just redirects me to Verizon:  "Please stay on the line."  Yeah, like that’s going to make me pay.  Pfft.
  But I drove out there without calling, and it looked like no one was home.  I swear I didn’t think about it again until Monday night.  What the hell is wrong with my brain?
  Sunday, I patched the ceiling hole from the chimney stack of the fireplace.  We’ll see how that one goes.  That was in the morning, and I called Bunny to let her know I was taking the trailer back to my cousin Joey.  She said she was at the town’s fall festival in Olde Towne.

  (To Be Continued…)


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