Maturity

October 25, 2009 at 6:36 PM | Posted in Notes on Society | Leave a comment
  Oh, I was just listening to some talk radio, and it was three people–the host and two guests.  One of the guests was some famous atheist (really, is there any other kind?) and both the host and the other guest were believers.
  I turned it off.
  Not because I was in danger of having my faith become shaky.  And not because I was angry about what they were talking about.  It’s important to talk about, sure, but mostly, I don’t care to discuss it with most people.  Why?  Well, most people are stupid.
  I’m going to generalize because that is my gift:  most atheists that you’ve heard of are smug, condescending assholes.  That’s not to say most of the entire lot is, just most of the ones you’ve heard of.  The ones that get air time or Internet time.
  And right there I can prove that atheists are wrong and there is a God.  The internet is proof of Intelligent Design.
  When I was new to my faith I was fired up and ready to battle with any non-believer who dared to cross swords with me.  I had the knowledge (I thought), I had the power (not really), and I had the spirit (a little).
  Some things over the years have managed to…not even shake my faith, but maybe jostle it a little.  That’s a natural thing.  After all I’ve done and seen and been through, my faith is still here.  Like a grizzled veteran on the bench, it’s solid, dependable, quiet.  And mildly annoyed and amused at the rookies at the same time.
  But faith is a very personal thing.  I don’t want to argue with someone about what I believe.  I don’t want to argue with someone about what THEY believe.  I know what I know, I believe what I believe.  I think what I think.  I piss what I piss.  What, do you think you have some compelling argument, some important proof or documentation, some intractable knowledge that there is no God?  Good for you.  And then, you want to take that information and FORCE it on me, and make me know what you know, and make me believe what you believe?  Will I then think what you think, and piss what you piss?
  I know that religionists have been–in your view, at least–pushing their wares upon you relentlessly.  In their view, you and others like you have been pushing God and religion away from everyone.
  In a country where everyone is supposedly able to believe what they want, you sure do take a marked interest in trying to get them to believe in nothing. 
  I’m just really not that interested in whatever "proof" that you may have, just as I have noticed that you are not interested in whatever "proof" I may have.  I have an answer, a reason, an explanation for all of your little feats of evidence.  No, I’m not going to enumerate them, because that would mean engaging you on the field of philosophical battle.  Although it’s the only battlefield where no one dies, there can also never be a victor.
  My answers and reasons aren’t as pat as "God put the dinosaurs there to test our faith."  There is deeper meaning and larger understanding in all of it.  Evolution?  Probably happened.  The Bible doesn’t specifically say it doesn’t, does it?  The Bible doesn’t mention calculus or iPods,either.  Do they not exist?  The Bible is not a science book.  It’s not a history book, even, although it does cover historical context. 
  And this is where I have a problem with the Bible thumpers.  It is the Word of God.  It’s not the only Words he spake.  And it was translated and changed and distorted and intentionally hacked and accidentally spilled on.  The ones who believe it is the end-all/be-all word of God exactly as written don’t understand editing, committees, politics, parables, or basic communication skills.
  Look, I know that when I talk to various people–and I was going to write about this in a different context–when I talk to different people, I talk to one of them differently than I may talk to another.  I’m treating them equally…but different.  In order to get the same results out of some people, I have to talk to them differently.  This is how it is, this is the nature of us as individuals. 
  So God spoke to the savages of that time quite differently than he might speak to you, sophisticated and jaded uptown college professor with patches on your elbows.
  My faith is sufficient to navigate the troubled waters of aggressive atheists and the tiny shallow streams of belligerent religionists.  I know that they each have some measure of truth, even the non-believers.  I know that they mean well, except I can’t excuse the Muslim jihadists.  Maybe I should ask for forgiveness, for not being able to move past that–
  I’m not interested in winning an argument against any of them.  In the end, we shall all find out.  And then you will see, you will finally see…
  That I am right and you were wrong.
  Neener-neener!

  Hahaha.  Having said all that, let me leave you with these thoughts:

Islam is like the soccer of the religious world.  It’s popular everywhere else in the world except America, Americans don’t really get it and don’t really want to, and it’s violent as hell.  Also, you never really see women fans in the stands.
And if you call it violent, the fans will get a rugby player to kick your ass.

I guess NASCAR is like religion in America.  The biggest day is Sunday and you can still drink beer.  You just sit on your couch and watch.  It’s really loud and it doesn’t require much understanding.  The chicks are hot in a trailer-trash kind of way.

Cricket IS a lot like Wicca.  You never expect to actually see it, so when you do, you really have no idea what you’re looking at.  You can’t really follow it and are really just hoping to see some naked chicks.  Whenever someone tries to explain it to me, they just sound really condescending.

Is baseball like Judaism?  The real players make a lot of money.
The men in black–rabbis or umpires–make the rules.
Steroids are optional.

Calling Scientology a religion is like calling date rape a sport.

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