Once In A While

May 11, 2010 at 10:18 PM | Posted in Journal | Leave a comment
  I’ve been down to just one job for about a week.
  On one hand, I do like having a break, right when the weather is nice.
  On the other, I need to pay my bills. 

  I have been looking…but that’s about it.  Just looking.  I talked to one person.  I’m a gonna have to get serious about this.  I think I will, but maybe not until next week.  I’d like to time it so that I can get a job right after Memorial Day.  Having a three day weekend now will help me accept working my ass off the rest of the summer and the rest of my life.
  Of course, it’s gotten scary slow around here at the bank, my day job.  Fear is a good motivator; I’ve been dicking around less and working more (I think).  Wouldn’t that just be a pisser to quit one job and then get laid off from the other one?  I’m too old to be homeless.  I don’t really want to live in a dumpster unless it’s one of those that the side opens up.  My knees are bad and I can’t climb into one.  I wonder if they have handicapped-accessible trash bins?

  C’est la vie.
  I do have some projects I need to work on.  Perhaps I should do that.  Do those.  Do these.  Work on these, finish that.  Start on this.  I have a list.  I have lists, even.  I have a list of the lists, actually.
  Also, the ill-fated internet radio show is slated to launch this week.  Saturday we were interviewed on another show on the network–sort of introductory launch–and then we recorded two short shows (instead of one whole show).  The idea being that after five months of development we were almost ready to go live, and just as close to getting canceled.  So the programming director said let’s do some short shows, one segment only–kind of like teasers.  Those shows seemed to go okay–they will be posted for listening Wednesday and Thursday.
  But now I feel back on it–I had a slump.  Now I have material falling out of my ass.  And we seem to have cleaned up the chemistry between Suzan and I.  And Detroit likes to come to the studio.  I don’t know if it’s to babysit me, or because she actually likes it.  Probably a little of both.
  There is more information on the actual website for the show:
  radiofreemo.com
  And the place to listen to the show is on the network site:
  sdnet.fm.
  On radiofreemo.com, the site is a blog that I post stories about the news and make comments on them.  But there is also a behind-the-scenes blog that is about the actual making of the radio show itself.  More information is there.  I try to keep this blog separate because this is about my life, my whole life, and nothing but my life, so help me God.
  Meanwhile, I’ve been on Face Book a little bit.  It’s addicting, a little bit.  And I don’t even play the games on there, not even a little bit.  But I’ve managed to reconnect with some people from the past–maybe we’ll actually get together in person some time.  At first I didn’t really want to friend "everybody," but I have a different attitude about it now.  My philosophy can be be described as "Collect them all," like they’re Beanie Babies.  Giant, annoying Beanie Babies that want to tell me about their lives and their accomplishments on a virtual farm.
  But more and more and more, I’ve been paying attention to politics and the state of the nation.  It’s not for the radio show, it’s the other way around.  The radio show came about because I was paying attention to this crap and I needed a place to vent.
  And I don’t want to talk about that on this blog either.  This is about me life, aye–I don’t fancy goin and spoilin it by talking about parliament and whatnot.  And I have still another project going on–I’ve hooked up with my editor (not hooked up in the street meaning–I haven’t hit that yet) to work on a creative project.
  It started with a discussion about getting a government grant (because Obama is handing out money like crack to the homeless) to work on a book, or something else like that.  Can I get a grant that would support me enough that I would only have to work one job while I work on a book?  Why not?  A ten thousand dollar grant would get my by for almost a year, really.  Long enough to–
  Pam, my editor, said, well, why don’t you send me a list of some of your ideas, and I’ll see if there’s something I can do, grant-wise.  Pam is going to school to get her writing degree, and is tops in her class.  She wants to be a grant writer because she cares about people and their causes, and because there is a shit-load of money in it.
  I gave her a list.  A partial list.  The list of things that are on the top of my head, creatively, at the moment.  It was a long list.  She didn’t get back to me for a few days, but when she did, she had selected a project that was actually one of my favorites as well.  Which one?  Why, you’re holding it in your hot li’l hands right now.  This blog.
  From the beginning, I have wanted to take the stories I have written about delivery and working in a restaurant and turn them into a book.  She agreed that it was a good idea.  And–I have most of it written, right here.
  Of course, most of this shit needs to be edited.  Writing for a blog is different from writing a book.  And I didn’t mean it to be–I wanted this to be as good as a book.  However, if you start at the beginning until yesterday, you can see the painful, awkward, horrid writing that I have committed.  I have improved in some areas, and drifted backwards horribly in some others.  Plus I can ramble–man, can I –and never seem to get to a point.
  But I do have most of it written.  Call it a first draft, whatever.  It’s a starting point.  I collected all the posts that have to do more or less with the business, plus some other good ones, and a few about my personal life (but not many–we want to stay focused) and gathered them all up into some word docs.  So far it’s 251 pages and I’m not done compiling it–but close.  And, as I go along, I realize I have more stories that I haven’t told–I need to get on that.  This is the story I was meant to write, the story I was meant to tell.  The only problem is, I’m not sure where the end would be…

  But at least I have a start.

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