Nice, Round NumbersApril 4, 2011 at 7:59 PM | Posted in Riding In Cars With Pizza | Leave a comment
Tags: cars, finances, pizzarama, the economy
After last night, I needed to do the math to see if what I felt intuitively (meaning I didn’t pay attention) was real. It feels like I’m not making any money at the Hut. Worse than that, it seems like it is costing me money to go to work. Unless I get a job at a strip club, I’m not really interested in paying for the privilege.
But how much is it costing, and how much am I making, really? Get the calculator out, kids.
Let’s use nice round numbers to make this easy:
Let’s call it 20 miles to Pizza Hut, one way. So that is a 40 mile round trip.
Let’s say the van gets 16 miles per gallon.
Let’s call gas 3.50 per gallon. As I sit here, it’s about 3.549 per gallon.
I’ve gone back and forth on this other number, trying to determine how far I drive per delivery, on average. Some are longer than others, and if you get a double you cut the distance in half. But as an educated guess, I’m going to say the average round trip for a delivery is 6 miles.
Pizza Hut gives drivers 1.10 per run. Yeah, they bumped it up when gas went up. When gas was around 3.50, they gave us…a dollar. There’s a 2.50 delivery charge, and the driver gets a dollar of it. From my understanding of the corporate mentality, I’m surprised that they didn’t raise the delivery charge to 3 bucks. And then give us 1.10.
Another “experiment” they tried is fucking with our hourly pay. We should be getting tips, so logically, they shouldn’t have to pay us as much when we are driving. So they cut our pay when we’re delivering from 7.25 to 5.25. It’s a complicated scale, so when we come back from a run and cash in, we are at the higher 7.25 rate. That’s minimum, by the way. Let’s say, if we’re lucky, we spend our time 2/3 to 1/3 driving to in-store.
In that time, we’re going to take 8 deliveries.
Call the average tip 3 bucks.
Salary is going to be 7.25*1 for our time in the store, plus 5.25*2 for our time driving, for a three-hour shift. That’s 17.75.
Then, with tips, we’re going to make 24 bucks. Add our 1.10 per run. Fifty dollars and 55 cents. Rock on!
50.55. That is 16.85 an hour. That’s purty good. Two shifts like that is the 100 bucks extra I need every week. Sometimes I make more. Sometimes I make WAY less. Oh, and I forgot about taxes and so forth.
Lately they schedule more drivers than we need, so we end up tripping over ourselves and waiting for deliveries. In a perfect world, in that same three hours I would take 12 to 16 deliveries and never be in the store for more than a minute at a time. More runs equals more tips, but also more miles and more gas used. Pizza Hut operates under the erroneous suggestion that customers want their pizza incredibly fast. This is, of course, a completely inaccurate and miscalculated parameter, but they have to have something measurable for which they can dock managers’ bonuses. The truth is that they don’t necessarily want it fast, they just want an accurate estimate of the time it will take. This is not an imaginary numeric. This is based on my 25+ years in food deliver, so I know what the hell I’m talking about.
But wait. How much does it cost to go to work—and then drive once I get there?
Okay, first, the round trip is 40 miles. Then for the deliveries, six times 8 runs is 48 miles. Forty and forty-eight is eighty-eight miles. Eighty-eight divided by sixteen per gallon is 5.5 gallons. Five-fifty times three-fifty is 19.25 for gas.
That seems about right because I throw a twenty dollar bill in the tank every time I drive, just enough to keep it off empty.
Now that 50 bucks per shift doesn’t seem so impressive. Minus gas, and that leaves me with a crumpled up 30 dollar bill. Divided by 3, and that’s 10 bucks an hour.
More importantly, it’s 30 bucks for four hours out of my life, including travel time. And after taxes, it’s going to be less. They don’t take out much, but it isn’t much to begin with. I can make more money by sitting still and not spending any money. I can break even by taking a nap instead of going in to work.
This realization stings a bit, because it’s like I’m stupid all over again, and had to figure this out. But—
I’m not going to work there anymore. Not another shift. I can’t. I can’t afford to work there.